Ladies and gentlemen, it is 2020, yet you are still single. You have had your share of dates and relationships, but you are still single. Why do you think this is the case? You have a great job, you are classy, you are smart, you are attractive. Anybody would be lucky to be with you. God had created a man for every woman and vice versa. So, why are you still single?
Here is a list of potential reasons why you are single*:
*Note that this list does not apply to everyone. Following the advice on the list is not guaranteed to get you into a relationship. The purpose of this list is to get you to think about yourself and your life and what you’d like in a relationship.
#1: Your preference for lust over love.
You have allowed your heart to fixate on a woman’s body or the size of a man’s “manhood“. Everyone has preferences when it comes to physical features, but when you rule out great partners on trivial matters, you will never be satisfied. Remember, the physical is fleeting, but personality stays the same.
#2: Your addiction to material things.
You have been dating with the expectation that your man will have lots of money and that he will take care of you. Get your own money and be your own person. There are not a lot of people who will want to be with you if they think you are a gold digger. Many men find it attractive when they see a woman who is independent and works for the things that they want. Like physical things, material objects are fleeting. They are simply things. They cannot understand you or be there for you; however, the love of a good person can help you fill that void.
#3: Your selectiveness.
There are great people out there who may not have the same level of education as you do or are not in the same social standing as you. There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is not from the same socioeconomic background as you. Many people do not have a college diploma but are may provide you will care, patience, and adoration. On the other hand, there may be people who have a Master’s degree and a six-figure income, yet are rude, unfaithful, and selfish. Titles do not make a person, nor does their race, religion, or socioeconomic background. What is on the inside is what matters.
#4: Your tendency to cast judgement on a person before getting to know them.
There is this old saying that goes “you can’t judge a book by its cover”. Similar to the last tip, you should not make assumptions about a person because of their background or circumstances. For example, if a man or woman has a child from their previous relationship, you should not automatically write them off as a potential partner. This is not a bad thing. Just because they have a child does not mean that they sleep around or unable to make a commitment.
Nobody is perfect. All of us have a past that we wish to change. To judge somebody for their past, especially without understanding the full story, is hypocritical and judgemental. It is not our place to cast judgement, but it is to be compassionate and understanding. Get to know a person before writing them off.
#5: Your unwillingness to compromise.
Many of us have an idea in our minds about the way we want our relationships to play out. We have fantasies about how our partner looks like, what they do, and the way the relationship will work. This image is often unshakable, to the point where we dismiss perfectly good people because they do not fit into our fantasies. Well, if this is the case for you then toss out that list!
Compromise is key. No, you should not settle for people who are rude or toxic; however, your vision for what you want should not be so narrow that you miss all the good people in front of you. Often, what we want is not what we need. You may want someone like-minded but may need someone who is different and pushes you out of your comfort zone.
#6: You look for love in the wrong places.
Most of the time, the setting in which you find your partner is as important as the person you find. Take these two places as an example: a club versus a church. The atmosphere of a club is relaxed, frivolous, and careless. You don’t go to a club because you want to have serious conversations about life or work. You go to a club to let loose and forget about your troubles. If this is the atmosphere of the club, and the reason you go clubbing, then why do you think that you can find a serious, long-term relationship here?
In contrast, a church is a more serious atmosphere. People go to church to serve God. This atmosphere is gentle, peaceful, and secure. More often than not, churchgoers are serious about getting their lives together and being the best versions of themselves. This is an image of stability. It is more likely that you will find a stable partner here in contrast to a club. This is not always the case; however, it is a general rule of thumb that you attract people who are similar to you. If you want to attract stability, present yourself as stable. This image includes the places that you go to.
Ask yourself these questions before looking for a serious relationship:
- What am I really looking for?
- Have I been looking for love or lust?
- Have I been looking for the wrong characteristics in my ideal partner?
- Have I been looking for love in the wrong places?
- Can a man or woman with little money love me unconditionally?
- Can a man or woman who is not traditionally attractive love me the way I deserve to be loved?
- Can someone of a different race love me unconditionally?
- Can someone with little education love me well?
You will be surprised to know love come in all kind of shapes and forms. God did not make everyone the same. He made us all different to his own liking. He created someone especially for you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that love is not out there. Perfect love has been created just for you.
Give love a chance by avoiding these poor habits.
If you are really stumped about how to find and keep love, just ask someone who is in a successful and stable relationship. There are also experts out there waiting to help single people find the loves of their lives. When deciding how to move forward in your love life keep in mind that the perfect love you seek could be right in front of you. All you need to do to have this love is be brave enough to allow it to happen.
Love comes in all types of races, cultures, ages, and appearances. When creating you God knew what your desires and turnoffs would be. He knew what you would want, and He has created someone especially for you. Sometimes meeting this special someone takes time, but they are out there and waiting for you. In the meantime, care for yourself. Be the best person that you can be.
Be patient. Love is out there for you.
What are your thoughts?
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